And so, I’m challenged.

Yesterday I was randomly challenged by a work mate,
we said that the one that first reaches the weight of 50 kg is the winner!
Of course, I’m in for the rece—!!

She needs to lose and I need to gain.
It will be fair, and we have about the same amount left.
I must put on about 7 kg’s.

I’ll do this seriously, yes!

And also, I’ve changed my name to Zände (think “Zende” it’s about the same).
Ahahahahahahaha~ 

It’s raining heavily today……

<3

 

I am thinking about everything that happened.
The dream that became reality before I even realized it.
Life and Death.

I dearly hope that I can get more time here on earth.
But if not… I am grateful of what I got.
And to everyone that lives on – Find your own happiness~

There is no dream too big to be reached.
It is a matter of strength. And we all have it inside us.
That’s what I have learned.
With that said,
I am ready for a new sunrise.

I love you all.
^__^

Okaasan note

Always when Okaasan comes home it’s the same talk….
”How long was it since you last stood on the scale?” Just because she haven’t seen me in a while and paints up a bigger verision of me in her head or something. Funny though…. Always when she asks that, I walk and stand on the scale, and every time I’ve gained a little weight. Ahahaha~ So why can’t she learn? I don’t lose more weight.

Parents are like that. Jesus.
Oh anyway, ah the day has already begun and here I am just awoken froom my beauty sleep.
Today seem busy. With Okaasan around…

Grey but oh so Green. Whut?

Finally—!!

I’ve begun to move forward. Yesterday night Y2 and I decided that nothing would stop us today,
so despite the bad weather, with the rain falling from the grey clouds in the sky…
We begun to act. Little by little, this day was finally one of those I wish to see more often.

First of all we started cleaning the apartment.
It looked like shit, to be honest.
Aaaah, we can breath fresh air again in here!
It feels almost like that, after removing all the dust from the floor.
Ahahahaha~

Secondly, I deceded to take a walk in the neighborhood.
The air was thick with rain but it was still pretty warm.
My balance started to mess with me all the way though…
I got slightly pissed. Why on earth this? First the phobia and then THIS as well?
I decided to not let it take me down so I kept walking far longer than I planned.
It was sweaty. Hai.

Happy about it all I came home and made 2 eggs for lunch,
after that I ended up stretching a little.
When I noticed Y2 was making lunch too I couldn’t help but to sneak in on her to look what she made.
Meatballs!! I used to hate meatballs, but the past 2 years I’ve come to like them~
Aaaand of course! When she wasn’t looking, I took my chance and stealed one of them. YUM!!
And then another one… and another one, and one more…………………
We ended up eating all together. And we even had to make another one.
Hunger oh yes!! I’m totally fine eating, as long as it’s not my own food XD;;

Then I stretched some more, and sadly enough ended in front of the TV.
But ohohohoho, I couldn’t help to bring my dumbbell. MOHEEEEE.…..!!

Then, in the middle of nothing at all, I flew up from the couch shouting to Y2, “I WANT CHOCOLATE”
So…….can you guess what happened?
Yeah……. The store.
In a remarkable speed, really! I haven’t walked that fast in a long time :’O…
I got my chocolate and now I am happy. Wahahah XD

I guess we’ll have to sing again today,
”EVER” is a very catchy one! ;D I love it! I really have to work on my stomach suport since it’s a lot of vibrato needed for this song.
*sigh*… Gambatteimasu~ !!

Conversation between myself and Y2 at yesterdays singing practice:

Y2: Why don’t you do some situps to activate your stomach muscles. It will help you sing.
G2: Oh…Yeah! *walks off to living room*
10 minutes later…
G2: ……OUCHHHH!!
Y2: I said “activate” them… Not kill them!
G2: ………..

kono yo no hate ni subete nakushite mo...

Goodmorning everyone~

Since I spended yesterday night reading all my old blog entries, it gave me quite a laugh and a good chance to think and reflect upon the things that have changed since then.
Of course I have older entries that can't be found on this blog,
there are even older ones at WordPress.

You know....
Not all of them but most of them were all written about how sad I was and how much I missed Y2. Ahahaha~

Now since she lives with me 24/7 it's a different story.
Even so, I think it was a good read,
We live so close on each other every day, every night.
It can be good to remind yourselfe how it was before all this,
how you longed, missed, loved back then.

It makes me realize to not take this for granted.
We don't know what will happen when Solo Work starts again for both of us,
and we don't know if Okaasan are willing to rent this room to her for even more time.
I would be happy if she could stay with us.

Of course, having Y2 here 24/7 isn't always for the better.
Like before, I sang basically everyday, I worked out more, I did things, even though they were small... Now I do whatever she does.
At first we sang a lot together, didn't we?
Now it has somehow been forgotten.

I remember it though.
I think about my singing every day.
I don't sing anymore.
How will I improve? It's not possible.

The chicken in me is too scared ot sing alone, and I feel so uncomfortable singing even if she's in another room listening to own music. ´

Ah. If this is going to continue with her living here,
we must come up with a solution to this. 'Cuz---

I-FUCKING-MISS-SINGING!!!

I sang when ever I could. If I was sad, happy, scared, stressed out...
And I love the feeling. I miss it so much~!
Feeling the vocal chords vibrate, feeling every muscle work to create the sound I want.
There were hard times as well...
But I loved it all. I LOVE it all.

I must sing again.
Even though I'm no way near a professional level, even though I don't even sound very good, I love singing, and my soul misses it.

With that said, I'm going to meet Mimmi-san at the station, our concert-friend is coming to visit us ^^ Ah, she is such a fun person!

Tadaima~ It's spinning around~

This is me back from London and the YFC concert :D
Unfortunately, my report about it all is still in progress,
since I can't finish it now due to physical problems...

Since I arrived home I've had dizziness attacks daytime, the first time in my life having that.
And everythime I try to write on the report my body feels heavy and everything's spinning around >.>

I gave my all during the trip to London, and on the concert,
trying my best keeping myself together in order not to lose it completely.
Now I have to pay for all the tension.

But I guess it's Ok,
I can take the shit, better now than during our trip.
Anyway, at least you have Y2's report, but I think mine can be fun too since we didn't share every impression and thought and so on.

So those who is interested will have to wait a little more~
I just hope my body is calming down soon.
And that I will be able to walk straight by myself again very very soon -_-...

A new day has begun and Y2 and I have decided we'll start cutting down our sleep to 6 hours from now on. We'll take it slow though.
At least I can say: the concert gave me a huge boost of Kiai~!!

TRAVELING TO LONDON TODAY—!!!

The day has coooome~!!!!!!! :D O__________O

Oh my GOSH.
We will soon be leaving home to head off to the airport.
I can’t wait to fly!! :DDDD

Scary though…
When we arrive…
We will be SO close to GACKT it’s scary o___o;;
Same city.

And tomorrow…
EVEN CLOSER!!!
Conceeeeeeeeeeert-------------!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

When I come home I’ll write a whole report about the trip!

 
See you guyssss!! ^__~

Countdown

Now it’s only 4 days left. Or…
we’re leaving on the 4th day.

I have to say I’m impressed with myself since I’m not very nervous at all.
”Tomorrows wind blows tomorrow.” That’s what I think about.

Because no one knows what happens tomorrow,
So why worry about it before it even happens?

It’s terribly hot outside, and inside, for that matter….
I’ve been sunbathing a little just now,
and I’ve sweating like a pig.

And yeah, it makes me slightly annoyed.
I want to get going!! Can’t wait!! AAH!!

Have a nice day, everyone~

And so we’re leaving in 1 week.

I can’t believe it….
I am so happy….
This experience will surely change my entire life T^T ….

GACKT.
I can’t believe it….
I am greatful.

Morgon

Godmorgon.
Det känns redan jätteskumt att ha bloggen på svenska.
Funderar redan på att fortsätta skriva på engelska… ^^;

Solig dag idag, uwaaah, skönt eftersom det var så regnigt och grått igår!
Blir nog snart riktigt varmt också så vi kan gå och lägga oss vid badudden och sola.

Idag ska vi tydligen åka hem till stan igen,
måste fixa med boarding carden till flyget. Herre Gud! o.o
Imorrn åker vi om 1 vecka! Jag är i chock xD

Nåja… litet snabbt inlägg här blev det trots allt.
Live seriously today, ne? :)

.

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What are you...? Oh, svenska?

Detta är mitt första inlägg på svenska i denna blogg, det känns ju sådär lagom skumt när man det senaste året bloggat enbart på engelska. Hur som helst så vill jag då bara påpeka att jag inte är nån höjdare på svensk stavning (det lärde jag mig faktiskt ganska nyligen). Man ska inte förvänta sig mirakel i denna blogg, alltså!

Jag blev alltså riktigt irriterad på att ingen kommenterar eller läser min blogg annat än de två nämnda filurerna i mitt förra inlägg, så här är jag nu, skriver på svenska. Tjoho!
Det ska ju bli väldigt intressant att se hur länge jag kan upprätthålla den här stilen.

Idag har varit en helt meningslös dag, jag vaknade på tok för tidigt, okänd anledning, redan 6.45. Usch! Men jag bestämde mig iaf för att sätta min älskade laptop i knät och surfa runt på internet i 2 timmar och låta Y2 sova vidare. Grå dag idag, vi gick bar en promenad efter frukost, och jo juste, så fick vi faktiskt till lite badminton-spel nu på eftermiddagen, det var skojjigt! :D

Nu hojtas det visst från Okaasan där nere att maten är klar. Middagen kallar!
Hmm, jag var ju inte klar i min predikan om dagens händelser...
Det kanske är ett tecken? "Sluta prata!" xD Kanske? Who knows?
Där sumpade jag visst redan min "svenska" blogg, kom genast lite engelska, vilken luring! xP

Nej seriöst, nu skriver jag ju bara för att jag är så hyper pga allt det här med svenskan.

Jag ska väl ta och äta nåt då, gå ner och partaja med Okaasan & Peter och en liten Soulmate~ ^^
Side note; jag är sååå nervös, nästa torsdag åker vi till London!!! o___________o
Jag vet inte vad jag ska ta mig till...! XD Så nervös och förväntansfull.

Trodde inte den dagen skulle komma så snart.
Trodde inte att jag skulle få se GACKT med egna ögon.

Nåja...
Tjenamorrs så länge! ;)

New blog plans, as if anyone care.

I have been thinking...
Maybe I should update this blog in swedish from now on?
I feel I'm stuck in some kind of bad circle and I can't express myself as good as before when writing in english.
The lack of vocabulary and expressions in the english language is starting to piss me off quite a bit.
I might mix both swedish and english in the post though, 'cuz some things just don't sound good in swedish etc.

So...
Sounds Ok?
I have also been thinking that it won't matter much if I changed this blog into swedish,
since I only have about two readers anyway, Y2 and Cha2.
Y2 is swedish like me so for her it doesn't matter at all, Cha2 can only understand what I'm writing if it's in english, but then again...
No one basically comment anyway, so I presume they don't visit at all.

Not my problem anymore.

The fifth day.

It’s already 3.40 PM…….
But I’ve only been awake for 4 hours.
Uwaaah, I slept way too long…

My eyes hurt.
Today we are off to our summer house again.
It’s like having vacation there. But then of course… I already have vacation.

My heart is pounding with excitement!
10 days from now, we are going to London~~~!!
It’s 1 week and 3 days.

JESUSSSS!!! o__o;;

Anywho…
I need to go pack and then leave together with Y2~ ^^

Happy Birthday GACKT

Everybody listeeeeeen….! Today is a very special day!
It’s SATAN’s birthday!!! 37 years old, woooo~~~ :D

Happy Birthday, you geek <3
You have the cutest smile in the whole world :D
And I think you know it! ;)

*HUGSSSS* from your little “daughter”.
Thank you for taking care of me all these years…

You’re the best, daddy    !!(^___~ )

Off we go again, this time to Uppsala.

It's HOTTTTT today~~~!!!
I'm all hyper about it, it's tropical heat!!

It is 38 degrees in the sun and 32 in the shadow.
I'm melting away! o.O;;;

Yeah global warming or what, we normally don't get this heat in Sweden...

Today Y2 and I are off traveling again, this time to Uppsala,
another city. We will go by train.
Celebrating~~~!!! Cake and all!! Fufufu~

And tomorrow we will sing "Happy Birthday to youuuu~~~" for both Liza-chan and GACKT-san. Double fun! Same day same day.

I am nervous about it, but I will do my best making this day a good day.
And I hope my voice is willing to be my friend tonight, karaoke is-not-fun!! -__-;;
Aahahahaha~

We'll see about that.
Oh by the way... Since I've never been to Uppsala before I would like to take a stroll around town to check on the place. I will see if I can do that tomorrow before we head of home.

With that said, I'm off.

I will live seriously today.

Tadaima~!

We arrived home yesterday at 6.30 P.M.
Yep yep and I was tired, tjoho!

Being back at Gotland, meeting my dad after 8 months… I both enjoyed it and hated it.
It brought back so many memories and feelings.
Some of them I thought I’d forgotten, but obviously hadn’t.
It was hard facing those emotions again.
No wonder I ended up feeling feverish.

But we had good times as well. We wen’t to the beach, took a leg-bath…
and Y2 even got attacked by a shrimp~!! XD Hilarious.

We slept a lot.
9 hours every night, Jesus, that’s something huh??

Today though, I slept really bad. Twisting around and constantly waking up…
Left me really tired and with only 7 hours of sleep.
But one shouldn’t complain, ne? Worse things have happened.

………Uhm.
I lost track of what I was going to say next.

Uhm, so tomorrow we’re off again to another city this time. Celebrating our friends 18th birthday.
The lucky basterd, her birthday is the same day as GACKT’s Bday. July 4th.
I’m a little nervous, I don’t really like being around people I’m not familiar with.
On top of it we’re going to sleep there also.

UGGHHH!!!

We’ll see how it turns out to be, after all, tomorrows wind blows tomorrow. Isn’t that right? ^^
At least she will be having G-karaoke songs on the party! Means, if I dare… I get my chance to sing tomorrow.

I did today, it was awesome!
Now afterwards it feels great to have worked with the vocal chords again.
I can need that more often.

OH, I almost forgot~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We had an hour to walk around in the town of Gotland before the boat departured…
We found a store that was full of stones and crystals.

Y2 and I was in heaven.
There were Onyx stones everywhere, all kinds of accessories.
So I took the opportunity to buy a bracelet (Onyx of course), a regular Onyx stone (to carry around, maybe in my pocket), and a Hematite ring (Omg a ring that FIT my tiny fingers!!).

I am SO happy about that ^____^ It’s almost silly.
I will take pictures and upload. I promiiiiiiiise~!! x))

I’ve talked too much again.
It’s time to go to bed.

Oyasumi.

“Can those who don't live seriously today
live seriously tomorrow…?”